Did you know that Pablo likes to be called “Pico”? Well, his girlfriend (aka his computer) does and likes him anyway. Pico likes thinking of innovative software projects and fresh new ways to enjoy orange juice. (He thinks pulp is great.)
The funniest thing about Pablo is he likes to talk on two phones at the same time. It looks odd when we see him walking around with phones on both ears, but he says it helps him stay balanced. We just wonder who’s on the other end of the second phone all the time.
Even though they don’t look alike, Patricia and Suzanne sure sound alike on the phone. Our customers love it! She somehow manages to keep things running in our European office in spite of the fact she spent more than one but less than 33 years somewhere in the middle of the U.S. She learned to speak English fluently while she was here and didn’t pick up any funny Texas or Boston accents along the way.
She has tried to convince us she’s older and insists that we call her “Pat,” but judging by her looks we think she’s 24. No matter how old she is or what her name is, we think she does a great job. And if one day we find out she really is older than she looks, we’ll just get some more candles for the cake.
Ryan, AKA "Schorriemorrie," is CoffeeCup's in-house council to professional note-taking. While he enjoys attending think groups for the cause of mysterious beliefs, Ryan is probably better known for his work on plates.coffeecup.com.
When he's not furiously key-mashing, you can catch him writing graffiti on bathroom walls, taking covert pictures in art galleries, and hiking barefoot. We asked him to start wearing shoes, but he insists that the dirt builds character.
Eva has a split virtual omnipresent personality. She tweets, streams, likes, +1s, dribbles, picts, boings, drumbls, zabomboms… all places, all formats, every day—but you won't always know that it's her.
The real Eva is often immersed in the world of photography. She takes vintage-style pictures, fashion pictures, art pictures, and a whole lot of pictures she refuses to show us. We've convinced her to make them available to all CoffeeCup customers—yay! But since we realized that she takes the same amount of pictures in a single day that the average Japanese tourist takes in a year, we'll need to up our storage space first.
Hans is the former CEO of a company that made a little program called WinZip. He joined the team to help us grow and get even better at making software. Hans is Dutch and lives in the Netherlands, so he spends a lot of time expanding CoffeeCup in Europe. Yippie!
Being a world traveler, Hans has seen and done a lot of things. He was still a little surprised by the heat in our south Texas jalapeños. It’s okay though — Hans will probably find something to surprise us with when we visit Holland.
Scott is the original founder of Tucows, the pioneer of software download sites. He likes to “boldly go” where no man has gone before… In fact his passport has more stamps than Bugs Bunny’s suitcase. If anybody knows how to promote and distribute software online, it’s Scott. He’s a snappy dresser too.
Scott was also honored with the Lifetime Achievement Award from the SIAF (Shareware Industry Awards Foundation), although not for his sense of style. Congrats Scooter!
Now here’s a guy we can all call a geek and not feel bad about it. Jeff is currently learning several new programming languages in addition to the 14 he knows now. Every day he comes in talking about some “cool function” or “the way you compare literals.” (Yeah, he really talks like that.) We just smile and pat him on the head.
In addition to working here, Jeff is finishing up his study on stacking random objects. When he quits coming by our desks and trying to stack everything he can get his hands on, we might take him seriously and let him drive without a chaperone (well, once he learns to drive a stick). Oh, by the way, he also cheats at foosball.
Mike is our designated hitter when things get rough (which is a lot, by the way). He is a programmer who fishes from an oversized rowboat on the weekends and appreciates quiet walks on the beach and a warm glass of milk before bed.
We think the work he has done on the HTML Editor is fantastic, and we can’t wait for him to make more software like Sitemapper. Mike enjoys a certain amount of seniority, so if he didn’t work from home he could use it to get some nice office supplies from the secret stash.
Suzanne likes barbecue and guys named Ferris, buys a lot of fancy shoes, and says things like “Stay outta my grill.” She reminds us of Hammy from Over the Hedge, because she’s always running around at 200 mph answering phones and doing office stuff. We try to get her to slow down, but it’s no use.
She’s actually a really nice girl from someplace where they grow lots of corn. If you ever visit our office, she’s probably the first person you’ll see, so please be nice to her.
Budgets, numbers, financials, accrual accounting, AARGH! We like to make software, not do accounting. Luckily for us, Bob loves accounting. Seems like a match made in heaven. Bob used to crunch numbers for people like Heineken, L’Oreal, and some giant German bank. Nobody says EBITDA with more enthusiasm.
When Bob isn’t up to his ears in Excel spreadsheets, he likes Sam Adams, live music, and wacky American sitcoms. Since he lives in the Netherlands, American TV shows are hard to come by. Maybe that’s why he likes accounting.
Cees (pronounced “Case”) is part of the Dutch contingent at CoffeeCup. He’s a programmer with a long history of being up to his ears in banking and mainframe software. We think that’s helped him deal with our quirky way of doing things.
Although he’s from Holland, Cees lives somewhere in Spain and spends a fair amount of time at our offices in the U.S. We’re not sure where to send his mail, so we just give it to some European gypsies and hope for the best. Next time you’re in southern Spain, stop by his house and ask him if he got that box of paper clips from us. Thanks!
We call Orlando “The Concierge” because he can get us anything we need. He’s the guy who knows a guy who knows a guy… Cool thing is, he knows how to figure out strange software issues, or knows a guy who can.
He also happens to be really good with movie trivia and Mexican food recipes, so we like to keep him around to settle debates over who was in what movie or how to properly make a tortilla.
Pilar earned a degree in mastering contradictions. She's a big baseball fan but also likes the Mustang GT, which is even crazier than mixing steak and ice cream. She inevitably gets lost when traveling to a new place; her kids have a tradition of waking her up by poking fingers in her eyes; yet she always manages to stay calm and look peaceful. We love her for that, and think that's why her code even works under the most unlikely of circumstances.
She loves wild airplane rides and goes by the nickname "Every Bug Can be Squashed" Pilar. And when her cheeks turn red, we all know not to disturb her because she's in a real coding groove.
John is the supreme wizard of Web design software development. From his comfortable home on the icecaps of extreme North America he spends hours a day coding on software like Web Form Builder and Photo Gallery. He seems to work better from home — plus he can take a nap whenever he wants without us bugging him.
He also spends lots of time gallivanting around the world as the International Man of Mystery. He has made appearances in Canada, Mexico, Belize, Guatemala, England, France, Spain, Belgium, the Netherlands, Denmark, Germany, Austria, Poland, the Czech Republic, Slovakia, China, India, and Japan. If you ask nicely, maybe he’ll come to your town and sleep on your couch.
Javier likes to play Tekken and role-playing games so much that it’s hard for him to separate the real world from the fantasy one. When you meet him, he rolls the dice before he decides whether to shake your hand. It’s a disorder he's working on.
We hear he takes two hours to get ready in the morning since he loves his hair. He wants to look like James Hetfield some day, but we hope he never gets there, because then we would lose a fantastic programmer to the throngs of ladies begging for him outside the office.
Being around Diego is like watching a movie at quadruple speed. Everything he does is so fast that we can’t tell when he takes off his jacket, sits down, stands up, makes a run to the water cooler, or if that all magically happens at the same time… He beats us at foosball so fast that now we just watch him play in awe.
He also likes really small cars, and really hot coffee. We have to agree with him about the coffee, even if he drinks it before it’s done brewing.
“Nah, man. It needs to have a little more texture to look like, good.” You’ve just read something Jason might say when talking about the intricate graphics he’s always working on, or the toast he makes for breakfast. A designer through-and-through, he drinks his coffee black while listening to Sigur Rós and talking about Japanese art films. It’s all easy to tolerate because his work is amazing (remember the eggs?) and he’s super easy to get along with.
When he’s not at the office (which is rare), he’s probably walking his massive French poodles around Decatur or riding his mountain bike across the North Georgia mountains. Where does he get the energy? Well, he does drink his coffee black.
Alberto is a first-class C++ guy and a total fan of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Pearl Jam, Metallica, and a lot of other rock’n’roll bands… and he plays bass in two bands of his own. His bands like to take classic rock songs, change the lyrics, and then play them really loud so people can’t tell the difference.
He also likes the landscapes of his native Asturias, Spain… and its food and drinks. He says the cider there is fantastic, and as long as you don’t have too much you can still work the next day!
She’s serious. So serious, in fact, that she watches C-SPAN and does people’s taxes for fun. One day we caught her reading the technical specifications for her toaster oven and laughing like it was an episode of Bugs Bunny. Of course, she reads other stuff too, and can’t fall asleep without a book in her hand.
The great thing is she also likes to help people and find bugs in software. We’re glad, because it keeps her from reading the tax code and laughing at us for not “getting it.”
The story of Nacho seems totally fictional, even to us. The legend says he was born in prison from a brilliant brick and programmed his way out while only 3 months old. He then trained an anonymous Boy Scout troop near Los Angeles to grow and maintain server farms. Being bored, he built his very own Thunder Hawk spaceship, and with that, made his appearance in various cartoons.
Now, if that seems crazy to you, you haven't been in the same office with him. We're not even sure what his real name is, or if he even has a name. The only thing we know for sure is that his code works like magic, and that's what really counts!